Florida Man Files Suit to Marry Computer

Florida Man Files Suit to Marry Computer

A man has filed a lawsuit in Florida for the right to marry his MacBook computer, according to the UK Telegraph newspaper.   Chris Sevier argues that if same-sex marriages are allowed, on the grounds that one can marry anyone they love, then Sever should be allowed to marry his computer.

Apparently it is not just any computer that turns Sevier’s head, but the massive inventory of pornography stored on it:  “Over time, I began preferring sex with my computer over sex with real women. Naturally, I ‘fell in love’ with my computer and preferred having sex with it over all other persons or things, as a result of classic conditioning upon orgasm,” he told a court in Florida.

Chis Sevier has filed a motion to “intervene” in  (join) a Federal lawsuit demanding that Florida recognize same sex marriage.  The lawsuit is James Domer Brenner et al., v. Rick Scott, brought by the ACLU, which challenges Florida’s refusal to recognize gay marriages that are performed legally elsewhere (Brenner and his partner married in Canada).

In the 24-page document, Sevier says that if gay couples “have the right to marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts, then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object.”

On April 24, Judge Robert Hinkle denied Sevier’s motion to participate in the same-sex marriage lawsuit.  But the Judge read Sevier’s motion, held a hearing on it (he had no choice on that), talked about it, and fully considered Sevier’s motion.  Sevier has clearly been heard regardless of the legal status of his intervention motion in the case.  His arguments will already have as much impact as the Judge and other participants are open-minded enough to consider.

Note that the denial of Sevier’s motion to intervene would not interfere with Sevier bringing his own lawsuit.  Judge Hinkle only ruled on combining Sevier’s claims with the existing lawsuit.

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